Miss the night you called, miss the ecstasy of speaking to you.
Miss the anxiety and tension that would grip me before calling you.
Miss myself wandering, groping for topics while chatting with you.
Miss the sleepless nights, tears with your name etched on them.
Miss the pain of being far from you, the desire to meet you.
Miss my wavering confidence, excitement on my way to your city.
Miss the agony of your rejection, of the failure of my first love.
Strangely, in spite of all these, I hardly miss you any more.
What I miss more is being in love, for the first time in my life.
30 September 2007
In Retrospect...
23 September 2007
Click !
Did this ever happen to you? Did you ever realize that the coming days, say the next month or two hold a lot in store for you? Did you ever find yourself overwhelmed with the uncertainty of the immediate future, so much so that you had, at some level, wished that you could take a peak at the other side of these few months? Or have ever you wondered if it was possible to magically breeze past these few months to land up somewhere in the future?
Well, it has happened to me, in the past. Again, its happening now! During the summer of 2007, I was doing my training in Motorola, Bangalore, and did not have the slightest idea about how to go ahead with the project assigned to me. All my coding and engineering skills seemed painfully inadequate and I feared, I might not even be able to start, leave aside reaching a satisfactory conclusion. It was then that I hoped to find myself on the flight back home. I had hoped to skip those two months of my life.
Now again, I face the same emotions. The future seems to be so dynamic, so animated that my life seems to be changing everyday, every moment. One fine evening, I would just browse through the net lazily, and the very next moment, all I would know was that my TOEFL was in two days time! I would then spend the night practicing speaking, reading and writing. As of now, I am expected to meet my guide shortly, and it does not need mention that I have hardly done anything satisfactory to report to him. I am expected to submit a big c code in an week. I am expected to mug up fifty odd word lists for my GRE that is due in a few days time. Also, lately, people had been getting words outside the word lists, which means, I need to take a peak at the other vocabulary guides also. My CAT is due on 18th November and my performance is still pathetic at the mocks. The placements start from the first week of December and I need to brush up my undergraduate knowledge. Not to mention the Puja Vacation amongst all these. And to add the last straw, now I am one amongst those red eyed people who roam about wearing black glasses! And these stupid bacteria plan to stay in my eye and cause rampage for the next few days. Its kind of good though, I finally realize the importance of having eyes!
All these seems so very overwhelming. I can't seem to even see the shore on the other side of the vast expanse of water. I just wish that I could skip this period to land somewhere in the beginning of January. I know I am talking like an escapist, but I am only human!
Well, it has happened to me, in the past. Again, its happening now! During the summer of 2007, I was doing my training in Motorola, Bangalore, and did not have the slightest idea about how to go ahead with the project assigned to me. All my coding and engineering skills seemed painfully inadequate and I feared, I might not even be able to start, leave aside reaching a satisfactory conclusion. It was then that I hoped to find myself on the flight back home. I had hoped to skip those two months of my life.
Now again, I face the same emotions. The future seems to be so dynamic, so animated that my life seems to be changing everyday, every moment. One fine evening, I would just browse through the net lazily, and the very next moment, all I would know was that my TOEFL was in two days time! I would then spend the night practicing speaking, reading and writing. As of now, I am expected to meet my guide shortly, and it does not need mention that I have hardly done anything satisfactory to report to him. I am expected to submit a big c code in an week. I am expected to mug up fifty odd word lists for my GRE that is due in a few days time. Also, lately, people had been getting words outside the word lists, which means, I need to take a peak at the other vocabulary guides also. My CAT is due on 18th November and my performance is still pathetic at the mocks. The placements start from the first week of December and I need to brush up my undergraduate knowledge. Not to mention the Puja Vacation amongst all these. And to add the last straw, now I am one amongst those red eyed people who roam about wearing black glasses! And these stupid bacteria plan to stay in my eye and cause rampage for the next few days. Its kind of good though, I finally realize the importance of having eyes!
All these seems so very overwhelming. I can't seem to even see the shore on the other side of the vast expanse of water. I just wish that I could skip this period to land somewhere in the beginning of January. I know I am talking like an escapist, but I am only human!
A Vacation
One fine morning, you wake up and find your left eye closed! Yes, you just can't open it! At the first instance, it freaks you out, but a few moments later, you realize that you are among the chosen few to have caught something called conjunctivitis - an eye infection typical of Bengal in the month of September. It is so typical of this region that its local term is "jai bangla", literally meaning, "long live Bengal"!
So, then you rush to the toilet with one eye closed, kind of feeling like a pirate, and then try different means to open it. Around ten minutes later, you realize, it wont open any more than it already has, which means you will have a small, red, swollen eye for the next few days! Thereafter, you come back to your room and ask the "know all" (your PC) about the stupid thing. It, in a despondent tone, replies, "there is no cure of conjunctivitis, lest it cures itself, typically in 3-5 days time. Also this is highly infectious"! And in a moment, life is good again! How? Well, if it is infectious and going to last for 3-5 days, that means no more classes this week. And no more professors threatening de-registration. Also, no more Research Scholars complaining about your utter indifference towards your dissertation. It is in fact a week long vacation in your room with the love of your life, the compu!
Jai Bangla !!!!
So, then you rush to the toilet with one eye closed, kind of feeling like a pirate, and then try different means to open it. Around ten minutes later, you realize, it wont open any more than it already has, which means you will have a small, red, swollen eye for the next few days! Thereafter, you come back to your room and ask the "know all" (your PC) about the stupid thing. It, in a despondent tone, replies, "there is no cure of conjunctivitis, lest it cures itself, typically in 3-5 days time. Also this is highly infectious"! And in a moment, life is good again! How? Well, if it is infectious and going to last for 3-5 days, that means no more classes this week. And no more professors threatening de-registration. Also, no more Research Scholars complaining about your utter indifference towards your dissertation. It is in fact a week long vacation in your room with the love of your life, the compu!
Jai Bangla !!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)