All my life I had been struggling - struggling to chase targets, struggling to achieve goals, all perhaps as a part of some invisible "dream". I have toiled hard, sometimes sleeping hungry, sometimes not sleeping at all, sometimes working for even hours at a stretch without any rest, just so that I could reach some petty milestone that would lead me to my "dream"!
To be honest, I have never exactly known this dream of mine! But somehow I was sure, it would be something really good. Rather, at some level, I kind of hoped it would be something good, something acceptable, something enviable. The reason of such restrictions being perhaps the fact that the society has certain expectations from you. And take it from me, you would do better to comply with the expectations! All these years, I tried to "design" a "dream" that would satisfy the social "specifications". But then, targets can be designed, goals can be modified, but its really not that easy to manipulate dreams. Perhaps that is why, all these years, my dream would seem so hazy, so blurred to me.
One question, just for the records - is it important that my dream should necessarily involve my career? Frankly speaking, my dream never looked so very clear to me, ever in my life, as it today is. But it hardly has anything to do with my career. Whether I make it to the IIMs, whether I excel in my job or whether I become the first man to land on Mars, it hardly matters. Hardly matters in context of the dream at least. But then again, one big question, the society!
What would people say if I tell them that I want to have a beautiful garden, or I want to lose 20 pounds? I would either be labeled mad or a loser. Apparently, I am supposed to dream big! Like say, becoming the CEO of some xyz company. It is this uncertainty that seems to hold me back. I fear the society, I fear my parents, I fear the people around me, for I am only human. I fear that if I chase a dream not recognized by others, the reactions might be severe.
But then again, the dream seems so very obvious, so very distinct. I have never known my dream this better in my life. How can I ignore it so easily? And believe me, all those alchemist stuff seems to be just "gyan" at this point of time! And to add to my plight, this dream seems so very unfathomable. I mean, I know dreams are supposed to be out of your reach, they are supposed to look impossible, but then you see people realizing their dreams, at least in stories. And more so, I am used to achieving whatever I wanted to, whenever I wanted to. True, they were not my dreams, but then, old habits die hard!
Just hope someday, I would have courage enough to boldly chase My Dream! And hope, it won't be too late by then!
To be honest, I have never exactly known this dream of mine! But somehow I was sure, it would be something really good. Rather, at some level, I kind of hoped it would be something good, something acceptable, something enviable. The reason of such restrictions being perhaps the fact that the society has certain expectations from you. And take it from me, you would do better to comply with the expectations! All these years, I tried to "design" a "dream" that would satisfy the social "specifications". But then, targets can be designed, goals can be modified, but its really not that easy to manipulate dreams. Perhaps that is why, all these years, my dream would seem so hazy, so blurred to me.
One question, just for the records - is it important that my dream should necessarily involve my career? Frankly speaking, my dream never looked so very clear to me, ever in my life, as it today is. But it hardly has anything to do with my career. Whether I make it to the IIMs, whether I excel in my job or whether I become the first man to land on Mars, it hardly matters. Hardly matters in context of the dream at least. But then again, one big question, the society!
What would people say if I tell them that I want to have a beautiful garden, or I want to lose 20 pounds? I would either be labeled mad or a loser. Apparently, I am supposed to dream big! Like say, becoming the CEO of some xyz company. It is this uncertainty that seems to hold me back. I fear the society, I fear my parents, I fear the people around me, for I am only human. I fear that if I chase a dream not recognized by others, the reactions might be severe.
But then again, the dream seems so very obvious, so very distinct. I have never known my dream this better in my life. How can I ignore it so easily? And believe me, all those alchemist stuff seems to be just "gyan" at this point of time! And to add to my plight, this dream seems so very unfathomable. I mean, I know dreams are supposed to be out of your reach, they are supposed to look impossible, but then you see people realizing their dreams, at least in stories. And more so, I am used to achieving whatever I wanted to, whenever I wanted to. True, they were not my dreams, but then, old habits die hard!
Just hope someday, I would have courage enough to boldly chase My Dream! And hope, it won't be too late by then!
1 comment:
It is so vague, so distant. It confuses me more than anything else.
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