30 March 2008

A Loser's Diary

Caution: Long Post

Perhaps its natural of human mind to search for a tiny bit of success amidst a huge failure. Perhaps this is what inspired me for this post. Or perhaps, I could accept a defeat well, and had the courage to smile even after such a massive setback. Or may be, this is nothing but an attempt to deny that I am nothing but a loser!

Life has lots of colours, and in its varied facets, teaches a lot! It bestows you with limitless showers of success, sometimes even beyond your wildest expectations. At other times, it just shoots you down so hard that you take a long long time to recover. And so far what I have learnt from life is, it is only through those unexpected moments that you actually gain something, your reactions at those moments reflect who you are, how you are.

The Inter hall bridge tournament was scheduled last Saturday. I rate myself a pretty good player of bridge, at least, in the perspective of the Inter hall. But things did not roll out as they should have. In the very first match, one wrong discard of mine saw us lose three victory points. I felt bad, and thought that I will play well for the rest of the tournament. But hardly did I knew, the worse was yet to come.

In the second match, I messed up two very crucial boards. In the first one, I totally missed out my partners bid of 1 spade, and failed to lead spade in the opponents' No trump contract. A few boards later, a misjudgment on my part saw us lose even more points. After these two boards, I was responsible for my team having lost eight points!

I would never forget the moments after the second match. To know that you are taking the team down, that its you who is responsible for such unfortunate defeat of five other people is perhaps the worst feeling on Earth. My captain trusted me, my team trusted me, my juniors looked up to me with respect, the four hundred odd boarders of the hall put their faith in me, my seniors who taught me bridge expected me to play well. And I was letting them all down. I felt like crap! Its true that bad patches are a part and parcel of a players life. But then, why had it to be today! Why could not it be on the other day, when we played so well and came second in a BBO tournament! I just wished that I would be substituted. I could not take any more of this!

But I was not. I played the third match, did decent, but still we lost due to some mess ups in the other table. The fourth match saw me do some crucial mistakes which once again cost us dearly! And then I was substituted, and I did not play the other two matches.

We came third in the tournament, thanks to the last two matches where I did not play. At the end of the day, I lost my team a Gold, I lost my hall four points in the Sports GC. I was the villain, not that any one was saying that out loud, but then, it was the truth!

Well, not every thing went bad that day. I played the worst in my life - true! I messed up the tournament for everyone - true! I lost my hall some points - true! But then, I had the spirit and the integrity to hang on till the end, to shake the hands of the winners. I had the integrity to go up to the other guys of the team and wish them luck for the rest of the matches. I had the sportsman's spirit!

The captain (no fault of his though) was so frustrated by the end of the third match that he wanted to quit! I convinced him to play through the tournament. I spoke to the other players and tried to motivate them. I spoke to the other substitute and ensured that he did not feel bad for being dropped. Guess these also count. Guess, being a good sportsman, taking the game in the spirit of the game is something life taught me that day. And I am glad that I could pass the test.

So, I guess, this was my tiny little bit of success amidst the big failure!

2 comments:

विश्व दीपक said...

A confession!

Not every one has that much power, which u showed......

Hats off to u!

Best of luck to u for your next project......

-V.D.

Unknown said...

Nice Job- u lost but the sportsman inside you won that time...it happens with most of Us...abt ur Post it wasn't that long Post...nicely written..:)