A Loser's Diary

Caution: Long Post

Perhaps its natural of human mind to search for a tiny bit of success amidst a huge failure. Perhaps this is what inspired me for this post. Or perhaps, I could accept a defeat well, and had the courage to smile even after such a massive setback. Or may be, this is nothing but an attempt to deny that I am nothing but a loser!

Life has lots of colours, and in its varied facets, teaches a lot! It bestows you with limitless showers of success, sometimes even beyond your wildest expectations. At other times, it just shoots you down so hard that you take a long long time to recover. And so far what I have learnt from life is, it is only through those unexpected moments that you actually gain something, your reactions at those moments reflect who you are, how you are.

The Inter hall bridge tournament was scheduled last Saturday. I rate myself a pretty good player of bridge, at least, in the perspective of the Inter hall. But things did not roll out as they should have. In the very first match, one wrong discard of mine saw us lose three victory points. I felt bad, and thought that I will play well for the rest of the tournament. But hardly did I knew, the worse was yet to come.

In the second match, I messed up two very crucial boards. In the first one, I totally missed out my partners bid of 1 spade, and failed to lead spade in the opponents' No trump contract. A few boards later, a misjudgment on my part saw us lose even more points. After these two boards, I was responsible for my team having lost eight points!

I would never forget the moments after the second match. To know that you are taking the team down, that its you who is responsible for such unfortunate defeat of five other people is perhaps the worst feeling on Earth. My captain trusted me, my team trusted me, my juniors looked up to me with respect, the four hundred odd boarders of the hall put their faith in me, my seniors who taught me bridge expected me to play well. And I was letting them all down. I felt like crap! Its true that bad patches are a part and parcel of a players life. But then, why had it to be today! Why could not it be on the other day, when we played so well and came second in a BBO tournament! I just wished that I would be substituted. I could not take any more of this!

But I was not. I played the third match, did decent, but still we lost due to some mess ups in the other table. The fourth match saw me do some crucial mistakes which once again cost us dearly! And then I was substituted, and I did not play the other two matches.

We came third in the tournament, thanks to the last two matches where I did not play. At the end of the day, I lost my team a Gold, I lost my hall four points in the Sports GC. I was the villain, not that any one was saying that out loud, but then, it was the truth!

Well, not every thing went bad that day. I played the worst in my life - true! I messed up the tournament for everyone - true! I lost my hall some points - true! But then, I had the spirit and the integrity to hang on till the end, to shake the hands of the winners. I had the integrity to go up to the other guys of the team and wish them luck for the rest of the matches. I had the sportsman's spirit!

The captain (no fault of his though) was so frustrated by the end of the third match that he wanted to quit! I convinced him to play through the tournament. I spoke to the other players and tried to motivate them. I spoke to the other substitute and ensured that he did not feel bad for being dropped. Guess these also count. Guess, being a good sportsman, taking the game in the spirit of the game is something life taught me that day. And I am glad that I could pass the test.

So, I guess, this was my tiny little bit of success amidst the big failure!

RDG - The Director !!

Caution: Very Long Post!

Kharagpur is known for its Inter Hall, both famously and infamously! Famously because of the fighting spirit of each of the participants, the clever innovations and the awesome performances which can only be compared to the professionals. Infamously because of the dirty politics circumscribing almost every event and the fights, big and small, resulting out of the fierce competition among the halls. The Inter Halls sometimes get so fierce that people would not even mind killing their rivals, irrespective of the fact that the concerned may be their batch mates, dep-mates or even best friends.

When I entered as a fresher in my first year, and then in my hall in second year, I would just stare with awe at the Inter Hall performers. Heavily impressed and intimidated by their performances, I became sure of at least one thing, that I might never be able to participate in such an event. Even if I do, I would do well to forget the idea of playing a substantial part in any of them.

But then, college changes people - KGP, as a matter of fact, totally transforms its students. Who would expect the shaky-legged fresher - walking down the roads of the campus with his father, not even confident enough to travel in a train alone - would actually direct an entire play for the Inter Hall event in his final months? But then, this is the beauty of KGP. It does things to you. Things, totally out of your imagination!

Yes, I did direct a play, a Bengali drama. It was called - ekti obastob golpo - an unreal story, a basic comedy with a strong social message and a tragic ending. My knowledge of dramatics, before this, was limited to playing music in the background and acting as a tree in one of the other plays. Also, I was a member of the lights team in my second year, and hence, had a fair idea of the lights. Otherwise, as far as true acting was concerned, I was poorly trained. But then, where there is a will, there is a way.

When the captain summoned me to the rehearsals on the very first day, I was not sure exactly what to do. I knew that I would be playing music in the background again, as I actually did on the day of the play. I also was aware of the fact that being a final year, I would do well to help the captain conduct the whole thing, as we were poorly enriched as far as good actors were concerned. So I went in the common room on the first day, and just sat in a corner and started watching. Before I knew, I was rectifying the diction and the connotations of the actors. I was telling them how to throw the dialogs, in what pace, where to lay stress on, and what should the facial expression be while throwing them.

With me, there was Arnab, another fourth year guy, who was really working hard to ensure that the stepping of the actors and the stage plan was perfect. He was taking care to verify that one actor was not blocking another from view, that three or more actors were not standing in a straight line. He finally did a great job, and our stage movements improved beyond our expectations. Ironically, even this person hardly had a dramatics background. He participated in dramatics and choreography in his second year, and since then, had hardly been in touch. But then, KGP does weird things to you.

Our first setback came when an actor, who was supposed to do the role of the prisoner, had to back out owing to his department fest. Also, another good actor of our hall was down with jaundice. So, even before we started, we were down two! Nevertheless, we found alternates for them, with the captain - Sonal (a guy), taking up the role of the prisoner himself, leaving me and Arnab solely in charge of direction.

For the next few days, we worked hard with the actors. We went on trying to perfect their dialogs, their movements, and more importantly, their off-dialog reactions. We praised them, we criticized them, we even kicked them! KGPians themselves, they rose to the demands of the play and finally mastered their roles, presenting a flawless performance on stage.

Our next setback came a few days later. Initially, we were alloted first day - third slot, a perfect one. But then, one more hall decided to participate, and ours became the first day - fourth slot, the last one for the day. We ran into a mortal danger of the judges falling asleep! More so, we had decided on a acting intensive play, unlike other halls going for set-intensive or light-intensive ones. This meant that one must pay attention in order to understand and feel the play. But then, this situation was not in our hand, and we had nothing to do. A bit demoralized, but still undaunted, we carried on with the preparations.

"Being a Director sucks!!" - was my feeling on the last few days. For four days straight, I had slept for not more than 3-4 hours a day. Either I was at the rehearsals, or I was in my room planning the lights and the music, or I was with Sonal and Arnab discussing scenes and effects. On the penultimate day, we actually decided to type the entire script in Bengali in order to hand them over to the judges, a common practice. That took up another 5-6 hours. Those few days were a real test for tenacity, dedication and leadership skills. Having been through that period, I am now confident of facing any stress interview on Earth!

As the event drew near, I became more and more tensed. For the first time, I was responsible for an event of such a magnitude, involving over 30 people. Every minute of the last two days, someone would come up with a brand new problem - the title page of the judges script was creating some glitches, lights team member was confused was to who he should focus on in particular scene, an actor did not have black shoe, another did not have cotton trousers - and on my end, the soundtracks were still not ready.

It was around 6.30 in the evening on the final day - our play starting from 10.00. The sets were still to be ready. I was giving final touches to the tracks, when somebody noticed (thankfully) that we did not have an introduction for the play. I ran again to the Bengali creative writing captain (Khan) to get a passage ready, and then went to the Bengali elocution captain (Tuhin) and asked him to read it on stage. In the mean time, someone pointed out that(again, thankfully) that we would be needing a red cellophane paper for the lights team. I asked the lights captain, VD, whether he had one. He assured me that he would get one soon enough. Half an hour later, I called him again, only to realize that the secretary could not be located, and so, we still did not have the paper. Finally, the BTDS governor, Suman, saved the day, for he had some in his stock!

Finally when everything was done, the cast assembled in the common room, the lights team ready and even the extras all present, there was still a major glitch. One of the main actors, Shoni, playing the pandit in the play, had gone home early that morning to get some documents, and was still not back! It was 8.00 pm, and we had hardly an hour in hand before we had to proceed to the auditorium. All three of us, me, Arnab and Sonal, was psyched beyond measure. I was pacing up and down in front of the hall, praying that Shoni be back soon. Finally he was back, with around 40 minutes to spare!

Everything done and ready, with all the costumes and sets having received the final touches, with the entire "junta" ready in the common room, there was a last ritual, called "Omkara". In this ritual, the cast sat down in a circle, closed their eyes, and chanted "Om" in an attempt to pacify the disturbed mind before the play. Thereafter, we proceeded to the auditorium, completely ready with the cast, the lights and the sets - something that hardly seemed a possibility even an hour ago.

The final performance was, in a word, Great! It was flawless. The lights was perfect, successfully creating all the effects we desired. The sets were perfect too. Our main act of innovation, the hanging of the prisoner was so immaculately done that everyone present looked at awe. The acting, as I had already mentioned, was also perfect, with the cast performing even better than they did in the rehearsals. At the end, as the lights went off, with the Jailer shouting his last line, "Hang him till death", the whole auditorium burst into applause.

What followed was a massive "tempo-shout" (Kind of like an anthem for each hall), and then the refreshment at JCB Canteen. No ending could have been more perfect.

This was perhaps my most memorable event in the entire KGP life. My first Direction! Leading such a large group, coordinating with the other directors, with the captains, with the actors and lights and music and sets - it was a serious test and an wonderful experience. At this side of the event, I am a more confident person, a better leader and of course, a better Director! And now, I do have a certain experience in Dramatics!!