03 December 2007

On the eve...

So this is how it feels to see things materialize in front of you, things that you have once dreamt about, things that at one point of time demanded so much of your thoughts, influenced so much of your decisions, things that you have once lived for, things for which you could even lay down your lives, things that you have eagerly awaited since time immemorial. Yes, finally its placement season in kgp, something that every kgpian await eagerly, something that keeps a kgpian going even in the toughest of the days, be it working for days straight trying to complete an assignment or be it trying to digest the inedible shit in the mess. And today, as I write on the eve of the placement season, it seems as if I can see the dreams, hopes and expectations of a thousand young minds materialize in front of me.

Yes, I am in final year too, and will surely be trying to secure a job for me, preferably with a good salary and work profile. But then, all those dreams, those thoughts, those hopes, I don't seem to be able to find them. With placements around the corner, my sight seems to be fixed on something even further. All of a sudden, something that influenced my life till today, something that forced me to come to IIT, seems to have become meaningless, inconsequent. Three odd years ago, on this very day, I would be sitting in my room, wondering when I would get placed, when I would be able to lead an independent, secured life. Stuff that appeared to be everything that day seems to be hardly of any importance now. For today, I hardly care for jobs. I seem to be more concerned about what would happen to my applications in the universities, whether I would get through CAT, whether I would be able to publish a paper before I leave IIT.

Guess this is life. No body ever seem to be consented with what they have achieved or even with what seems achievable to them. While this sure is a sign of the ever progressing mankind, one can not deny the sense of insecurity, depression and agony this brings along. And when ever you try to stop, to protest, you are silenced by some cheesy quotes from some motivating poetry, stuff like, "rest if you must, but don't you quit"!

1 comment:

Abhisek said...

Sry, had a little upset in the family, and net problems. so couldnt get much time. i will find time to read up all the articles u wrote in the meantime.